Monkeys Typing Shakespeare

I remember hearing somewhere that when someone loses a limb he still “feels” like it’s there for a while. I’ve been getting these weird ghost vibrations right around where my Blackberry normally sits — front-right pants pocket.
What the heck is that all about? I don’t remember seeing that on any warning label. […]

I’m heading back to high school this August.  No, I’m not planning to trawl for underage girls (just because I hang out with monkeys doesn’t make me a perv).  It’s my 20-year high school reunion.  Yes.  Dr. Safran will have to shed the lab coat for a few moments to meet up with lots of […]

It’s been a while since the SIMI Project lost track of most of our 100 monkeys. As I sit alone in the newly remodeled lunch room and stare at the posters of our monkeys of the week, it hit me: I’m getting pretty lonely in this place. The trips around the country following […]

I recently traveled to New Jersey to try to locate a few of our monkeys. As you may recall, we’ve only been able to recover a few of the 100 monkeys that worked for the SIMI Project before we went on hiatus. The institute was doing some work for a huge pharmaceutical company […]

Chalk it up to anxiety or perhaps a complete nervous breakdown but last night I had a strange and vivid dream.  With the house in escrow and plans to move the monkey operations north, things have been a tad stressful.  We still don’t know where one of the chartered busses is and only a few […]

An anonymous tip came in from 26-year-old John Mistretisky of 174 Main Street in San Jose, California (John’s wife’s name is Cynthia and he has four kids, a boat and a credit card ending in 2412). This anonymous tipster called to tell us that seven of our monkeys were working for the Yahoo! Music Service. […]