Monkeys Typing Shakespeare

I knew a monkey once.
He was brown, wild and free.
He could run faster than me
as he bolted up the nearest tree.
He’d rap his chest and shout,
“Oooh, ooh, ooh and eee, eee, eee.”
Then he’d jump from the tree
and land right on top of me.
I’d fall to the ground
and curse the crazy monkey
but he’d just laugh and […]

Google’s new feature is the cool.
Not that anyone should really care but, look, I worked here about 19 years ago when a slice and a drink cost around $1.50. I was the only guy there without tats or piercings. This was one of my all time favorite jobs. I burned up at […]

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” - Albert Einstein
I have to remind of that each time I wake up and my toaster is fighting with the cat.

It’s been a while since the SIMI Project lost track of most of our 100 monkeys. As I sit alone in the newly remodeled lunch room and stare at the posters of our monkeys of the week, it hit me: I’m getting pretty lonely in this place. The trips around the country following […]

I recently traveled to New Jersey to try to locate a few of our monkeys. As you may recall, we’ve only been able to recover a few of the 100 monkeys that worked for the SIMI Project before we went on hiatus. The institute was doing some work for a huge pharmaceutical company […]

I heard that Japan doesn’t have the same kind of liability torts that we have in the US.  After seeing this clip, I’m bound to agree.  Good freakin’ grief!  That woman is going to need a lot of therapy for a long, long time.  Don’t you just want to give her a hug and say, […]

Who do you think will win?

This monkey plays a dangerous game of cat and mouse, er, monkey: