Monkeys Typing Shakespeare

Man this place was a dump! Left in almost total disarray for more than two years, I recently returned to the office to find most of our monkeys gone. All but a few had taken jobs elsewhere as the institute, low on cash, hasn’t been able to provide enough bananas for all 100 monkeys.

Computers were gone, very little paper remained and banana peels were festering in every corner of the office — covered in mold and irritated fruit flies. The few remaining monkeys had shifted from working on sonnets to developing web pages for the less savory side of the industry.

I hadn’t intended for my incarceration, er, vacation to last so long. But after Bongo tried to sneak on a plane with a jar of night time skin firming lotion and toenail clippers the judge revoked my parole. The entire mess could have been avoided in the first place if I had known about the zoning laws in the residential neighborhood were I lived. Who knew you weren’t legally supposed to have 100 monkeys with typewriters in a split-level townhouse on the weekends. What was I supposed to do? Leave them at the institute in cages? No one had said anything for 5 years. New monkey-hating neighbors can be such a pain.

However, fear not! I have already chartered a couple of buses to drive around the country picking up and rehiring all of the monkeys we lost over the past year. As the monkeys return we should be able to start reintroducing the tools that allow you to train your own monkey and work on those all important Shakespearian sonnets.

The reconstruction has begun — starting with this web site. However, much is left to do. It is sort of like getting the band back together after everyone has married, had kids and drives minivans. If all goes as planned, the monkey groupies should be back to worshiping their typing idols and the dozens of white coats (now covered in monkey poop) will be cleaned and back on deserving scientists within the next few months. Stay tuned!