Monkeys Typing Shakespeare

The SIMI News Desk

In a SIMI Project first, Dr. Safran took to the skies to search for 4 monkeys that had escaped from quarantine. However, no one seemed to know why the monkeys were in quarantine in the first place. It seems that they also stole their files containing their entire permanent records, which, of course, contained information relating to why they were in quarantine.

Dr. Adam Safran gives a thumbs up after being asked if the SIMI project is only the first stop along the way to world domination.

While the situation on the ground was grave, Dr. Safran seemed to be enjoying himself as he kept shouting out the window of the small Cessna he was in, “Here I come to save the day!” while buzzing local homes and shops throughout the Reseda, California area.

After about 20 minutes, Dr. Safran had completely forgotten why he had taken to the air and the search for the lost monkeys was presumed to be over. Five minutes later, the four monkeys returned, dejected that the search had lasted only 20 minutes.

As punishment, they were required to retype their permanent records in triplicate. Dr. Safran eventually returned and wouldn’t stop talking about how cool the airplane was and how he was thinking of quitting the research business to become a pilot and how you really had to be there to understand and how in some ways it felt so right because everyone on the ground looked like little ants which is how he normally perceives common, everyday-non-monkey-researching-scientists-type people. Realizing this made Dr. Safran decide not to become a pilot.

However, we are most thankful that Dr. Safran returned in one piece. Did we mention that he proofreads all of these updates?