Monkeys Typing Shakespeare

Monkey Propoganda Service

If you’ve ever been around millions of bananas as they go brown, you have but a tiny sliver of knowledge of what it’s like to work at the SIMI Project while a typing challenge is in full swing.

Lots and lots and lots of bananas

Truth be told, the offices that house the SIMI Project where never meant as a banana storage facility. With close to three million bananas earned by the monkeys participating in April’s challenge, even Dr. Safran was forced to replace his desk with an aging mound of the browning yellows. Clearly upset by the inability to write a letter or take notes without losing a pen or two in the brown muck, Dr. Safran finally gave up and worked out of his lime green, 1974 AMC Gremlin.

When the fruit flies began to migrate from room to room in vast clouds of black specs, even the monkeys began to fear for their lives. That’s when Dr. Safran, sensing the deteriorating moral (not to mention walls and furniture), devised a scheme so grand, it even surprised his veteran scientists.

The evening of April 21st, three weeks into the challenge, Dr. Safran blitzed the late night airwaves with infomercials touting banana cream injections for fuller lips and rounder thighs. Within days the Hollywood elite, housewives and insurance salesman by the droves where sharing desk space with the monkeys while they waited for their Bananatox^TM treatments. By week’s end, what hadn’t been injected or smoked by Dr. Safran and his inner circle was barely enough to fill a closet.

We’d offer Bananatox^TM to the SIMI faithful but we are currently under investigation by the FBI, FDA, IRA, NBA, NFC, CBS, CU2, NRA and NAMMLA and have been advised by council to run like wild monkeys on crack.

Instead of running, however, the SIMI Project has been rejuvenated by our knowledge that people will pay for anything, even slimy, old bananas injected into their lips and rear ends. Therefore, we would like to congratulate April’s winners and start ALL OVER AGAIN in MAY!

Thanks to you, our monkeys have typed well over 100 sonnets and there’s no stopping us. Dr. Safran is even sporting a new haircut and silver and brown lab coat. Don’t tell him the silver is actually mercury from a failed experiment. We all know what the brown is.

Congratulations to April’s winner, Banjo! Banjo was selected at random from April’s top 10 banana earning monkeys.

Good luck in May and happy typing.